The Battle With Cancer

Dr. Neusenbaum, an amazing man, and he would soon be my surgeon, rolled his chair up to mine, put his hand under my elbow, and said, “Bryan, it is cancer. But we have a plan.”

We sat waiting our turn to set an appointment with the Oncologist. Then I turned to Patti and asked, “Did he just say stage 4 cancer?” We were at BJC Siteman Cancer Center in St. Louis Missouri to find out if the lumps under my right chin were of no concern, or something more serious.

I sat there somewhat bewildered. When a person gets this type of news, all at once we have awakened to the truth of our own vulnerability. This is the future, but was not supposed to be. Everything is up for grabs. Everything we hold dear crumbles to dust.

We freeze. We turned to stone. What then do we see? What is it we see when we cannot understand what is happening to us?


It felt as if, I was driving further and further into the hurricane when I should be driving away. Not realizing that there was a second one right behind it.

Cancer takes lives. Depression is when you give it. The second storm was far worse than the first. How do we prepare for a catastrophe that is happening in slow motion? We do not know what to expect or how to act?